Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Until about 2pm this afternoon, I thought it was December 1st.
I had fully come to terms with the fact that Movember was over and that all the boys were going to get a lot less scruffydreamy and get a lot more dweeby.
I even paid for transit because my November bus pass was 'expired'. Honesty. I'm such an idiot sometimes. 

Don't get ahead of yourself. That is my advice for the day. Let the pieces fall where they may. You'd be surprised how many times they land perfectly. For example, it is still Movember for another 5 hours! And tomorrow is the beginning of everyone's second favorite month of the year: Decem-beard!

Finally, to all the other kiddies that are writing exams on saturday - CHILL OUT. Take a bath and give yourself a facial or something. The sharpest mind is the rested mind (and the prettiest smelling).

I wouldn't look twice at you if you didn't have facial hair.

xo jess

P.S. Can someone please tell me why ear-zits hurt a million times more than face-zits? Thnx.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

cute update!

In the mad search to do anything except for studying. I would just like to take you through my search history, and previously visited webpages.

I started out with searching: stick and poke tattoos, which led me here, to find this gem of a picture:

that site proved to be uninteresting so i moved onto a favorite, fuckyeahtattoos! where I read bogus stories of the 'meaning' behind tattoos. all of which are stupid and again, quite uninteresting. EXCEPT that i found some awesome girl (or guy?) who got this:

this sparked my interest in thinking of how people get obscure words tattooed on them, and then i started thinking of obscure words that i would tattoo on my body, and my brain stumbled upon "lioness" so i obviously googled "lioness" to find out as much information as i could, because, i mean if i am going to get "lioness" tattooed on my body i at least want to know what they are all about. 

THEN, i was like, lionesses are so cool! they are the hunters, they're social, and they stick with their sisters (can I get a what what!?). 

And then i got the desire to find out, what are the most loyal animals? this google search led me no where, so i searched, "awesome animals"...casual right? which led me to this little cutie puh-tootie site, where i stumbled upon this photo, and couldn't believe it (i had to scroll past pictures of SNAKES to get to this, proud or what?):
his name is Tinker Toy

i obviously didn't believe that this existed. c'mon! a cat that small! how bad do you wish that was on your lap right now, or in your scarf! a little kitty in your kitty cat scarf, aka kitty hammock. omg, i just imagined it, can you?? 

So i searched 'smallest cat in the world' and did some research...and then i searched 'smallest kitten in the world'...and i stumbled upon THIS:

I CLEARLY needed to see more pictures, and so i searched 'two headed cat' and there they be! the cutest little kittens in the world. omg. i love them! i think it's the cutest thing in the world. I would love the shit out of this cat! LOOK!!!

the best 2-for-1 ever!

Once i saw this,  i immediately thought, "OMG THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW!!" (AKA. Jess, Jill, Sash and Nicole).

and now I have wasted another half hour. congrats me!


Friday, November 25, 2011

Who's team do you play for?

Happy Grey Cup weekend or whatever! I didn't even know it was happening/which teams were playing (still don't) until I showed up at work and they made me wear this whore-ish 'football jersey'. EW. So freaking glad I quit that place.
What this post is really about is your Girl-Team. You know, those hot chicks you get to hang out with whenever you want: when you are so happy you feel like your head might explode, when you just wanna drink way too much wine and listen to music that is way too loud and get dressed up in way too much glitter/leather/lace/lipstick/backcombing, or when you are like, FUCK LIFE and your girls are like, FUCK LIFE too.
These are the girls I'm talking about.

"my friends are prettier than your friends #tequila"

xo jess

Thursday, November 24, 2011


your face sucks. and now i don't like you.

tincanheart made this great post on celebrities she doesnt like just based on their faces, and it's so true! (minus JGL, you bitch!). SO, in response, here are the people 'i have nothing to do with based on their faces'

kristen stewart- SRSLY! you need a new face! It kind of sucks that you're SO PRETTY (and dating a babe), but you need some sunshine in your life, girl. are you happy? sad? angry? mad? constipated? I CANT TELL BECAUSE THE ONLY FACE YOU MAKE IS THIS:

harry potter- i dont even know your real name. that's bad right? NOT! i never got into the whole harry potter thing, but this kid is a freak, man up. or stop being so british or something. and apparently he is getting 'hot' now that he is growing up...but that's like saying ron weasly is a babe! (JK!)
pube-tastic facial hair.

justin timberlake- never understood this, never will. can you imagine having a conversation with him? I think i would be bored to tears, and he would be all "happy-face-smile-i used to be in a boy band-and i suck on snl-and now i think i can act"

this one's a shout out! I don't care what ANYONE says, I would get down and dirty with this 'boy' in a heartbeat, in so many unspeakable ways!
hubba hubba!


Wednesday, November 23, 2011


So, this video just blew my mind out of the window and i don't know where it went.


 p.s omg can you believe we have reached 100 posts? yay us!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Right now

Velvet. I realized today how much I love it right now. Where can I find one of these beautiful velvet dresses or some velvet pants that I can wear everyday of my life?


I like how this girl is dressing up that amazing sweater

The Hunger Games trilogy has taken over my life these past few days

Someone please make me these crepes for lunch!?

Is it too early to start decorating for christmas? Never.


Thursday, November 17, 2011

I love lists

Things that are just plain awesome:
- first date jitters
- spicy chocolate mousse (ommggg. check out this recipe.)
- wading into the ocean until the waves almost touch the top of your rain boots.
- having an umbrella but choosing not to use it. hey, your clothes WILL dry.
- not washing your hair. yea girl!

xo jess

makes me wanna

Seriously, is there anything more beautiful than a ripe avocado? There is nothing better than cutting into it, twisting it open, and having both halves of this creamy, delicious, green fruit staring back at you.

SL0IG4 on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs
make animated gifs like this at MakeAGif

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Why do people on the bus think it's a good idea to use their mouth as a third hand? Gross.

and this picture looks like Cat


Saturday, November 12, 2011

Do it to it.

Hey babes.
Here are some helpful tips from a girl that regularly trips over her own feet and blushes easily. Enjoy!
- Take pictures of all the cute/big/fluffly dogs you see on the street. This is usually easier/less awkward when the dog is tied up somewhere and their person is inside getting a coffee or something. Then you can look at the pictures when you are sad and need some cheering up.
- Fall in love with this girls hair.
- Choose a wine only because it has the prettiest label.
- Channel your inner forest dweller and wear hedgehogs on your hands!

- Pretend that fluffy dog is yours just to impress a cute boy. At some point the person will come out of the coffee shop and be like, "wtf get away from my dog." And you will look foolish. 
- Feel bad if you only meant to have one (or two) bites of the white chocolate brownie from Moxies and then all of a sudden you ate the whole thing. It was worth it.
- Go outside if rain drops are threatening to break through your bedroom window.
- Leave your sweaty gym stuff in your gym bag over night. Grosss.
- Forget to unplug your phone charger when you aren't using it!


xo jess

Thursday, November 10, 2011

More is more is more.

There can never be enough of these things in your life.

1. Pretty socks. Just as long as they didn't cost you over $30. (wtf people actually pay over $30 for socks?! I've seen it.)
2. Spinach. Seriously. That shit is good for you.
3. Free tickets to parties. Right?? Even if you have no idea who the guy was that gave them to you, or even if you have no intention of going. You COULD go, if you wanted. And you could go for free. Sick!
4. Reverse french manicures.
5. DIY projects. Check this out! Shreddd it up.
6. This song.

Jake is a huge fan of spinach.

xo jess


I have many, many girl crushes. So many in fact I might actually make this a regular
feature on this blog! But first I will show you this lovely french lady whom I've
crushed on for years.

Girl Crush of my life:

Audrey Tautou - Simply stunning.

By the way.. Yesterday was officially my half birthday. And of course,
I spent the entire night alone drinking cheap boxed red wine. But I did buy myself
a present!
I would have shown a nice picture of them online but couldnt find one...
So here is a picture I took. Awful quality as it is from my iphone
but they are so beautiful. They're little suede slippers I looooove them!!!!

Anyone want to buy me (half) a birthday drink?
I am SO ready for this looong weekend - that officially starts in 30 minutes!


Ps.. I learned a neat trick the other day..
If you have a leftover bottle of champagne/sparkling cheap wine thats going flat and you want
 to bring the bubbles back, drop a raisin into the bottle!
Any carbon dioxide thats left in the wine will stick to the raisin's ridges and release
as tiny bubbles! Cool, right?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Sunday, November 6, 2011

top tens

Last night I remembered how awesome top ten lists are, so i decided, hey, why not start a top tenners here? so, introducing the first ever robyncam's top ten list.

top ten ways to have the best time ever at a party where you don't know anyone  (and probably don't belong):

10. drink something interesting. for example, last night i was drinking beer. interesting? n'est pas? this usually starts some unwanted conversations with lurker boys, but then again, you don't know anyone! so this new lurker could now be your best friend for the evening. "you're drinking pacific pil? interesting. don't girls usually just sip on vodka or whatever?"

9. show up really late. this one works in your favor always, because then everyone else is already really wasted. this promotes behavior such as stated in 5. and 6. this is also a bonus because you can say whatever the fuck you want! no one is going to remember who you were anyways. oh ya, that girl that showed up at like 12 and started throwing fists? what'd she look like again..? genius.

8. tell everyone you can't wait to add them on fb. maybe this one is just for me. but it's hillarious! no, i actually have no intention of ever 'befriending' you on facebook. but it's guaranteed that you are going to have a conversation with that person for about 5 minutes or so about the best way to add them. oh no, my name is spelled with a 'y' not an 'i' and i'm actually really hard to find, because i go under like an alias, because i don't just want anyone finding me you know? so ya, if you go to so-and-so's page, we're mutual friends right,  and then go to friends and type in "Joe Blow" thats me, cause otherwise your going to get like a million and never find me. Thank god you went under an alias. 

7.lean. this one is really basic. lean anywhere you can. against the wall, the table the couch. this is perfect because then it's never permanent. you didn't actually commit to sitting on the couch with these people. it's not a big deal when you casually un-lean and walk the fuck away! also, if you're feeling adventurous you could even rest one leg up against the wall. you know what i mean.

6. just start giving people advice. this one works great. especially if you're giving advice to boys who are trying to pick up girls. and you like to watch this. eww, not because you're a creep or anything! but because who doesn't like to watch 'love' unfold right in front of you

5. give really bad advice! this tip is more for if you're half drunk and you like to lie. oh shit, am i a sociopath? like, tell the boy that you're giving advice to, that he should probably continue making that 'really cute face' he is making when he looks at the girl he's been flirting with. you know, the half squinting, one eye open, sly smile look. promote that one.

4.flirt with members of the same sex. enough said?

3. chant/yell. this one is a golden party rule standard. and i'm sure we've all done it before. oh what, someone keeps leaning against the light switch? eeeeHHHHHooohh!!!! everyone chants or yells and raises their glasses. and it never gets old either! oh what, it happened again? eeehhhoh! again? eehhohhh! again.... and if you're the only person NOT 'eeehooing' people will notice.

2. steal people drinks. this one is great because you get to party for cheaper and with a new variety! but! be sure to pour whatever alcohol you are drinking into YOUR beer can. that way no one knows! and you should probably do this somewhere secret, like in the bathroom, or in the host's closet or something! that way you can maybe find a new pair of 'boyfriend jeans' while your at it. jk, dont steal! 

1. obvs get really drunk! because as i'm sure we all know. the more you drink, the funnier/wittier/prettier/cooler and more sophisticated you are! right? and then your more likely to end up getting into an argument in the kitchen with a racist and not even care!

best of luck all you party people! 


Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Some things Im looking forward to this month..
- Boys growing there mustaches
- The new twilight movie
(I may or may not have pre-purchased my ticket for the opening night)
- My half birthday is in 7 days. Yes, I do celebrate it.
- Spicy hot chocolate - I've been drinking it almost everyday, SO GOOD!
- Snuggling up beside the fire place
Yes, I live in a house with a fireplace again. Now Jess, Robyn and I all live apart. This makes me so sad, I love you both so so soooo much and already miss living with you. Who am I going to do youtube workout videos with in my kitchen? Who is going to eat bowls of raw cookie dough with me? My mom is definitely not going to try and learn the "single ladies" music video dance. And there is no way my dad will spend drunken nights looking at pictures of cute animals with me.
You guys were the BEST roommates.
I hope we share a house together again someday. But instead of hermit crabs as a house pet I think we should get one of these guys. Yeah??