Monday, May 21, 2012

stretchy pants and grippy shoes

so, if you know anything about me and jenna, you would know that we are high kick champs. it's become a little bit of a party trick these days. it's without doubt that if we are spending an evening at the neighbour's house the high kicks will emerge. it is also inevitable that someone will eat shit. the first one to have the most epic fall was lee. i didn't know if he was going to stand ever again.

on saturday night, i was lucky enough to have my 'great' friend nick videotape me doing my epic high kicks.

as of saturday, jenna and I have banned high kicks unless the criteria is met:
1. stretchy pants
2. grippy shoes

i hope that this video will make your day peachy:

my two favorite things about this video:
1. the position i land in
2. how quickly i get up, because, lets face it. i'm a mutha fucking champ

much love,

hot knives

hello friends. i am barely able to type right now (i accidentally wrote texting because thats what i thought typing was called...but then deleted it..and now i am telling you, anyways.) i just did hn's alone and accidentally got really baked and now i am in my divine bed, and i clicked a song link and THIS song came on and i had never heard it before and it was the most perfect song to ever come on and now i am happppppyyyy

wasn't that song unreal? maybe i am just stoned.

anyways can i tell you a secret? sometimes when i am really baked, and i take a shower, i pretend i'm in a shampoo commercial....yep

okay well im done embarrassing myself for one post!

stay classy kelowna

Friday, May 18, 2012


can i just start off by saying that i am completely exhausted right now. been on a wee bit of a bender, came home early tonight to get some shut eye, thought to myself "i will watch just one episode of this TV show 'girls' and see what all the rage is about..."

I have watched all 5 episodes. it is 3:20 in the morning and now i cannot sleep. Have you seen this show?
It is perfect and perverted and wonderful and extremely awkward and hilarious and sometimes i want to know if someone got a hold of my life and put it on tv (jk)

***************************SPOILER ALERT***************************

SO, here are my favorite lines/moments for you fellow readers(not in order):

1. When the animal sex man makes hannah lie on her stomach and hold her feet and then she tries to take off her tights
2. That hannah ALSO has an irrational fear of HIV/AIDS. #twinsies
3. When hannah tries to sleep with her ancient boss-just for the story (please tell me other people do things just for the story..)
4. "suck on my balls"..."eww have you ever seen your balls?"
5. When hannah finds out that her ex boyfriend is gay (I am also guilty of making out with a guy prior to his coming out)
6.When hannah makes a date-rape joke and ruins her job interview (sometimes appropriate topics are hard, okay!)
7. When the babe says "but i want you to know, the first time i fuck you, i might scare you a little, because i am a man and I know how to do things.........see ya later" and then she goes into the bathroom and masturbates.

fuck me sideways this show is unreal!

well good night kelowna, or good morning i suppose

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Witty hung over/high

Sometimes i like to think i am at my peak of my game when I am riding out a hangover and stoned. Would you like to hear my thoughts? Too bad if not.

Things robyncam thinks are funny right this second:
1. Ordering take out and telling them it's for "baby girl"
2. That i know the name of the 13 year old boy who works the drive through @ Tim hortons
3. Playing the game "where were you on ___ day" and trying to figure it out
4. The fact that i may also have sun stroke
5. People who don't drink coffee?
6. My bedroom looks like a tsunami hit and my bed has somehow moved to the dead center of my room? #islandbed!

 Anyways. That is my life right now. I have to go to work in an hour, fuck me, right?

stay classy!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Record needles

Record needles. They're pretty small eh. Quite. Can you imagine if you saw a penis the same size? That'd be pretty Mortifying right? I cant even imagine! Or can I ;)??

Friday, May 4, 2012


what's the deal with cats these days? they are all the rage. and i am SO down. have you met maru yet? well if you haven't, you're welcome. 

(it's still funny even if you're not as baked as I am) 

stay classy kelowna!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

eff bitches


Am I right, or am I right? Want to know what I don't like? Well, a lot of things, but want to know what I don't like RIGHT this second...MEAN bitches. Girls can be such c-u-n-t-s. I just don't get it! I am so freaking lucky to have the most amazing group of girl friends! I love THESE bitches to death. They make me happy. And they make me feel less weird daily, because let's face it, they are big weirdos too.

Did I attend middle school with any of you? Well, if you knew me in grade 7, you were probably terrified of me. I used to be a bit of a bully. It makes me really sad to think about it! I was self-conscious and defensive and had a brother (which made me extra defensive) so i was MEAN to people before they could be mean to me. If you know me now, you know i grew out of this, i am a nice person! i swear!

the point of confessing my past bully-ways, is that I know how to use my claws.

So instead of being:

please be:


stay classy kelowna